‘Iddah is Not a Punishment, Answering the Stigma about Women’s Limitations

There is sorrow that words can never fully express. The ‘iddah period is often a quiet space for a woman to absorb her loss. Islamic law stipulates that women whose husbands die should stay at home, take care of themselves and give time for their fragile souls to come to terms with the separation.

The rules above are original (basic) law, a provision that aims to bring calm, not make things difficult. However, life never stops just because of tears. There are needs that cannot be contained, there are circumstances that demand a step out.

In urgent conditions, Islamic law provides a door. A concession full of wisdom, so that ‘iddah does not turn into confinement. However, a place to recover that still provides space to move according to limits and needs.

Understanding the Concept of ‘Iddah in Family Jurisprudence

In terms of terms, ‘iddah is the name for a certain waiting period that a woman must undergo after a divorce or the death of her husband. This period is not just a break from normal activities, but a special time that he must go through with patience and calm.

Iddah, idiomatically, is a term for a certain period of time that a woman waits for.

It means: “The name for a certain period of time that a woman waits for him.” [Mustafa Bugha dkk, “Al-Fiqh al-Manhaji,” juz 04, hal.157].

There is not only one reason why women undergo iddah.

In worshiping God Almighty, or mourning a husband, or ensuring the innocence of the womb.

First, a woman does it as a form of worship and obedience to Allah SWT. This shows that the ‘iddah period is not just a social rule or cultural custom, but is part of the Shari’a which has the value of worship.

Second, this period can also be a form of expression of grief and loss over the death of a husband. In other words, ‘iddah provides space for women to calm themselves, let go of their partner’s departure, and slowly heal their inner wounds.

Third, ‘iddah also functions to ensure that the womb is clean from pregnancy, so that there is no doubt regarding the child’s fate if he remarries in the future.

Various kinds of ‘Iddah

In general, there are 2 types of ‘iddah; First, because her husband died. Second, separation.

The ‘iddah of death is the waiting period that a woman must undergo when her husband dies. The provisions are divided into two circumstances. First, If a woman becomes pregnant by her husband when he dies, then her iddah period ends when she gives birth, no matter how long or short the required time is. Second, If the woman is not pregnant, or is pregnant in a condition where the pregnancy cannot be from a deceased husband, for example because the husband has not yet reached puberty, or has been proven to have left her for more than four years, then her ‘iddah period lasts four months and ten days, whether or not she has been intimate with her husband.

The ‘iddah of separation is the waiting period that a woman must undergo when separating from her husband due to fasakh or divorce, after having sexual relations between husband and wife. If the woman becomes pregnant, her iddah period ends when she gives birth. However, if you are not pregnant and include women who are still menstruating, then this applies for three sacred periods after divorce. Meanwhile, for women who do not menstruate, either because they are young or have gone through menopause, the iddah period is three months.

Provisions for Women During ‘iddah

A woman who is undergoing iddah is obliged to stay at the house where she is undergoing the waiting period.

The woman-in-waiting must remain in the waiting house, and must not leave her or take her out except for reason.

He is not allowed to leave the house, and no one else has the right to let him out. This provision aims to maintain his honor and calm during the ‘iddah period, so that he spends this time in an orderly and respectful manner.

However, this rule has exceptions. If there is an urgent need or a reason that is justified by the Shari’a, then the woman may go out just to meet that need, without overdoing it and still maintaining manners.

There are several circumstances under which women ‘iddah are allowed to leave the house. All of this falls into the category of needs that are justified by the Shari’a.

First, If he feels that his safety or property is threatened, such as a building collapse, fire or flood, then he can leave to save himself. This provision applies to both death iddah and divorce iddah.

Second, if the house he lives in is not safe, for example it is not sturdy and is prone to being broken into by thieves, or he lives in a bad and dangerous environment, so he is afraid of being a target of crime.

Third, This also includes if she experiences serious harassment from neighbors or her husband’s family, which makes her very tormented. Even if he himself often triggers disputes because of his words and attitudes that hurt them, then he may be moved to avoid chaos.

However, if you are forced to leave the house or do activities, it is recommended to look for a place to stay that is not far from the ‘iddah house, so that you remain within the established etiquette and rules.

Fourth, when the residence he lives in is not his own. For example, the house was only loaned, then the owner wants to take it back, or the house is under contract and the lease has expired, while the owner demands to be vacated.

In conditions like this, he had no choice but to leave the house. In other words, if the right of residence is no longer valid, then the ‘iddah woman may move, because staying means holding back other people’s rights. This transfer is carried out based on necessity, and still maintains manners as a woman who is undergoing the iddah period.

And there are many more cases or conditions where ‘iddah women are allowed to leave the house, even though as a basic rule, they must remain at home until the waiting period is over. So, not in all cases, women undergoing ‘iddah must stay at home. Of course, with several existing criteria, and remaining within the corridor of values ​​that already exist in Islamic law.

Also Read: Interfaith Marriage

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Author: Moch. Vicky Shahrul Hermawan, Mahasantri Mahad Aly An-Nur II “Al-Murtadlo” Malang.

Editor: Sutan